Dragging My Feet

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I’m dragging my feet. I’m scared that I might not be enough. I’m worried that all of the fears and insecurities I try to hide will somehow be exposed. And even worse, validated.

I’m worried that by taking steps toward my dreams, I will open myself up to feedback that what I have to offer isn’t good enough. That my words aren’t clear enough. That my gifts are unneeded or worse, unwanted.

At the core, I’m worried that I might not be enough.


We all have an inner dialogue we try to silence, that we might not be as talented, as ready, or valuable as we want to be. The deep scars from our childhood, the words of others intending to cause pain, or from a history of falling down are so very real.

Bailing on our dreams is a form of protection from all of the hurt and pain, and discomfort we have had in our past. Our defense mechanisms are there to protect us. They have served us in our most difficult moments and protected us when we didn’t know how or have any other way.

But, maybe you’re ready. Maybe it’s time to put away the defenses, the protection, the armor of false security. Maybe the bigger risk is that we stay hidden or small and never know what we are really capable of. 



Maybe it is our story, our past, that actually prepares us to not only share our gifts but inspire someone else to do the same.

 

When I look back over my past, while I would not wish it on anyone else, and I wouldn’t want to relive the most difficult moments. They have also come with incredible blessings. I have learned grace, grit, integrity, and learning to live and love after incredible heartbreak and pain. I have enough evidence in my past to tell me that whatever comes my way in the future, I will make it through.

While your story may not be the same,  You get it. 


You’re here. You’ve lived through heartbreak. You’ve overcome disappointment. You’ve navigated loss and love, and showed up when you thought you couldn’t. You have what it takes.

This world needs your gifts.

This world needs you to show up fully, with every tool you have acquired, and make this world a better place. 

 

The desires of our hearts are not there by accident. They are our divine purpose to pursue and explore, and share. Our stories are not an accident either. Every time we got back up. Every time we forgave. Every time we tapped into a part of ourselves we didn’t know we had, we were preparing for today.

We want to see all the way to the end. We want to see every move, to know it is safe, and that we are validated, and that it all works out the way we have dreamed.

But, we can’t. We can’t know all of the next steps. We simply need to take this one. And, this one will lead us to the next, and the next, and the next. We will figure it out as we go. We will follow our heart and trust that the people, the opportunities, and the path will unfold before us when we walk in bravery and normalize imperfection.

As mothers, we want nothing more than for our children to follow their dreams, stretch beyond the limits they maintain for safety’s sake, and reach their fullest potential. And, what better way to teach them than to model it with grace, and grit, and the gift of imperfection.

I don’t have it all figured out, but we’re in it together. 


Janelle

 


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