When Armor Doesn’t Protect You

The armor, the hard shell of protection from a world that feels too sharp, is not only keeping you tucked inside, but also keeping you from those who crave the soft place to surrender their armor that no longer feels like protection but weight. What if the protection...

It Won’t Always Feel Like it Does Now

I felt my body slump down the wall until I was supported by the floor. I was empty. I was hollow. Tears streamed with no sound and my gaze was past the strangers getting off the elevator. Something told me I should care that I was in public, but I didn’t. All I cared...

I Pick Me-Healing Childhood Wounds

I didn’t get picked. I applied for a leadership opportunity through work, and I didn’t get picked. I stay pretty protected by only trying things I think will bring me success. I have never applied for a job I didn’t think I would get. I don’t bowl or play mini-golf,...

Your Story Matters

“I’ve never told anybody this. I’ve never said it out loud.” Through tears, her words were difficult to understand, but we all felt her heart. I teach Mess of a Mom workshops in homes throughout my community. I begin with my story, my struggles, my qualifications to...

When a Bubble Bath Won’t Wash Away the Funk You’re Feeling: Managing Stress

Here’s the thing. You don’t have time for any of this. You’ve tried it. You’ll just pour another glass of wine and soak in the bath. Surely it will help this time. And, it won’t. If you want to feel different than you’ve been feeling, you have to change the things you’ve been doing.

The Power of Connection

What does connection look like? While you can brainstorm several images of connection with your child, I think there's an even more powerful question to ask. What does connection feel like? Have a Conversation. By starting with the literal question, children can...

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I’m A Mess

I’m A Mess

I’m such a mess. I’m keeping 4 children alive, two of them belong to another mother, and also to me for the time being. I’m writing down appointments for our children in foster care to attend trauma therapy, the pulmonologist, physical therapy, the occupational...

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My Mother’s Finger-The Birth of the Mess Method

My Mother’s Finger-The Birth of the Mess Method

I saw her press her lips together, puff out her cheeks, and I knew the tears would follow. And, I couldn’t stop.    I have white furniture and four children. Two of them are forever, two are for now, and of those two are hovering at two years old. As a foster...

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Dragging My Feet

Dragging My Feet

I’m dragging my feet. I’m scared that I might not be enough. I’m worried that all of the fears and insecurities I try to hide will somehow be exposed. And even worse, validated. I’m worried that by taking steps toward my dreams, I will open myself up to feedback that...

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